“I would always like awake every midnight and I would stare at the dropping fluid on that plastic bottle up above my head. I see them very clearly because everything just flows down through my vain by that needle stabbed in my skin. I feel pain and self-pity for every hour that passes by because I got no one to talk to when supposedly someone should be by my side and holding my hand while asking me what I need or that I will soon be okay. Everybody is asleep and I grow hungry and thirsty but I cannot and should not lift that dextrose or else my blood would go up. Anyway, so I would not become a burden to anyone I would do things on my own. I am the nurse and the patient at the same time. I still lie awake with the pain and longing for my body needs and company. I cannot move or else the long suspended plastic tube  would tangle and the hydration that I need would not flow but the fever made me restless and uncomfortable with any position. I also stare at the bottles of Gatorade, prebiotic drinks and bananas beside me and thinking to myself, I have consumed a lot but still I am sick. I lost my appetite but still I have to eat but even before I finish my chew, I would throw up. My eyes would be teary, my tummy would complain and all I could do is spit all I have and there, I am dry again. I am very weak and I want to cry but what is the use? It was my first time to feel-this-sick sick but felt for the nth time, the worst feeling of having people around yet alone. This always lead me back to my self-note that I would always be left with myself, myself alone.”

For the record, I am better now. I was sick from food poisoning and it was bad. My mother was my doctor (because she really is), little sister was my occasional nurse (because she has classes) and my father was my dietitian. I still throw up at times at the moment but at least I could eat now. I lost two inches in my waist and I do not know for the pounds since I have not weighed myself yet but I know I lost some weight. What a feeling. That feeling of being for yourself only but I have to recognize the efforts of my parents and sibling. They have been taking care of me as much as possible despite the busyness. My little sister also has a dual mission, it is to take care of me and to make sure that I am already okay so that she can have the remaining food and drinks that were bought just for me. Anyway, I felt loved by some people who checked on me. For this experience, I dedicate my recuperation to the people who aimed for it so much.